Sometimes she may not realize it but my host-mom Eka is always giving me advice. At times she is oddly profound while other times I think the American medical world might disagree. Either way, she is only trying to help and inspire me to get the most out of life.
Read books instead of cleaning the house.
It’s much easier to pay a house-cleaner to clean for you than to pay someone to teach you about literature and the world.
A marriage without love is not a marriage
(Though according to Eka, the cast members of ‘Step Up 3D’ felt true, everlasting love so this one might be up for debate).
Understand that all people are good people
Eka has taught me that even though sometimes it might not seem like it, every person you meet is eminently good and divine. Teaching yourself to like everyone you meet will only help you become a happier person and enable you to learn from everyone (even if it’s learning what not to do in life).
If you don’t feel good you must either drink coffee, eat chocolate or drink brandy.
Migraines, stomach pain, sore throat- it does not matter. Drink and be merry.
Unless you want dog poop on the carpet, take off your shoes before entering the house.
Honestly, wearing shoes in the house is practically a misdemeanor in Georgia. House slippers are as necessary as a toothbrush.
A bus ride in a foreign place can teach you more than a month’s learning in the classroom.
This is Eka’s way of saying that yes, definitely, you should travel as often as you can. Money or no money, if there’s a will there’s a way.
Don’t ever be sad about your life.
Wallowing in your own false perception of misery is the most useless thing you can do. A billion people have it worse than you and would kill for your life.
Fall in love every couple of months.
‘It makes your life more interesting and proves you’re not a robot’ (that’s an exact translation of Eka’s words).
If a boy makes you cry just remember- his murder can be arranged.
No boy has made me cry but if I look even a bit sad then Eka often reminds me of this fact.
If an orphan singing on TV does not make you cry than you are a robot
I mean this one is just true. An orphan singing? You better watch the TV with a tissue in your hand.
If you’re cold, learn to sew and make yourself a sweater.
I’m still not sure if this is Eka saying I need to learn to sew or her way of saying that you need to be proactive about solving your problems. Either way, both interpretations can be seen as good advice.
A man who likes fat women can be easily persuaded.
It is what it is. A man who likes plump ladies will give you a discount at the bazaar way before a chauvinist pig will.
Every now and then, get drunk in the afternoon
Eka likes the idea of “escaping from your life”. We all need escapes from our everyday lives; it’s just not healthy to live life so seriously.
Save less and spend more.
Advice that would make my finance professors cringe, Eka thinks that since you only live once- indulge often. Your bank account won’t judge you if it’s not as big as it can be.
Drinking cold water after you work will get you sick.
All I’m going to say is that if you don’t want to get yelled at after working out than don’t drink cold water after working out. Apparently it’ll either get you sick or kill your ovaries.
A washing machine is a women’s best friend.
The only reason people think diamonds are a women’s best friend is because selling your diamonds can help you buy a washing machine.
Eating mandarins aggravates ulcers.
Oranges are fine. But mandarins are not on good terms with ulcers.
Don’t eat black bread in Georgia.
Much to my dismay, I am banned from eating black bread in Georgia. The bread is black because ‘black paint is added to the bread’. Yes, I know this sounds preposterous but I’ll follow a bit of cracked-out advice in exchange for some good life-altering stuff.